Wednesday, April 25, 2012

~Regional Fertility Program Review~






I wanted to take some time to write a review regarding my personal experience as a patient of the Regional Fertility Program When I was looking for a clinic I wasn’t able to find anything that was up to date.  I am hoping this review helps the people who are considering becoming an out of town patient. 

 It is lengthy so I broke it up into the different steps of a cycle.  Feel free to add your own experiences and ask any questions you may have.

Here is some info to catch you up to speed on what treatments we have completed…

  • Cycle #1 - Full IVF with ICSI
    • 20 eggs retrieved
    • Only 10 were mature enough to fertilize
    • 4 made it to the blastocyst (blasts) stage
    • Transferred 1 blasts
  • Cycle#2 - Frozen Embryo Transfer
    • Thawed 3 blasts of which only 2 survived
    • Transferred 2 blasts

Overall Impression

My overall impression of the clinic at this point is not favorable.  They do have some of the best success rates in Canada and have a great team of doctors.  We were hopeful that this would be the answer we have been waiting for.  However I feel that all this is negated with the way they choose to schedule and organize the clinic. 

They say that there are able to look after out of town patients just as if they were there and I feel like that statement could not be farther from the truth.  I think that if they offer and encourage people from out of province to come to there clinic they really need to do some work on the care they provide for their out of town patients.   I am speaking from the perspective of an out of town patient, this could be very different if I was a resident of Calgary.

By far my biggest complaint was due to lack of proper communication.  In one word I would describe the communication with this clinic as horrible!  You are never able to talk to a person and you must leave a message (and only 1 message per day).  The average time I waited for a return call was 24-36 hours.  There are times within a cycle that you need to talk to someone within a few hours.  When I expressed this concern I was met with excuses and a lack of care for the situation.

In my experience this clinic does not go above and beyond for their patients.  The $10,000 we paid was to get us through the treatments, offer very minimal advice and support and send us on our way. 

The last thing you want when going through IVF is stress and frustration.  It seemed that every time I got off the phone with a nurse at the clinic I felt frustrated.  I have asked myself if this review would be different if the treatments had worked and the more I thought about I would say my answers would stay the exact same. 

We are waiting for our follow up appointment to discuss these concerns and our options for the future.  We will also be looking around to see what other clinics in the US have to offer.  If you can afford it (it is not even that much more) they have some amazing clinics outside of Canada!   

I have contacted one clinic who will respond to my questions on their Facebook page faster than I can get someone to answer my call in Calgary.  I think that says A LOT!

Getting On the List

I first contacted the clinic in the summer of 2010 and by the fall we were invited to go to an information session regarding IVF.  After we attended the information session they told us the wait time to be offered treatment was between 4-5 months.  It actually took us 1 year and 2 months for treatment to be offered.  I eventually found out the reason for this was because I was not calling in my period which they require you to do so to stay on there waiting list.  I have PCOS and do not get a period so it took at least 4 months of them not calling before I called them to ask them where we were on the list.    Low and behold we were at the bottom and the lady explained if I wouldn’t have called I would never have been offered treatment.  I explained to them my situation and I was put on birth control so I could call in my cycle and ensure my spot on the list.  After that my tests (HSG, Blood Work) all had expired so I was benched again waiting to complete tests for treatment.  This took the rest of the year and finally we were called in for treatment.

The Clinic Building

The clinic looks like any doctors office, neat and tidy.  There are pictures of babies and children on the walls for decoration, I liked this because it made me feel hopeful.  They apparently have free internet stations but I was never able to access the internet.  The only thing I did find at these stations were baby food ads and pregnancy information, I think articles pertaining to fertility would be a much better fit for these stations.

They have a TV in the corner that I never noticed until our retrieval.  I was subjected to 2 kids watching Dora for almost an hour.  There are still people struggling with infertility after having children but this annoyed the hell out of me.  I don’t feel this is a place kids should be.  If we had children and required more procedures I guarantee they would be left at home.

The weekday receptionists are professional and knowledgeable.  They always answered my questions and made me feel at ease.  The ones I experienced on the weekend were unprofessional, I would not feel comfortable leaving important information with anyone I saw at that desk.  In my opinion the girls on the weekend dress way too casually and talk very loud about there personal life.  It is a small waiting area so there voices travel.  The last time I was in there to check on my appointment (during the weekend) I was greeted by a girl sucking on a sucker with a wrist full of dirty bracelets, enough said. 

The Pharmacy

The pharmacy within the clinic is small but we have nothing but positive things to say.  All the staff were extremely helpful and friendly.  They made sure I knew exactly what I was doing and returned my calls in a timely manner.  I received my prescriptions on time and everything was packaged well!  I was glad I choose to use the pharmacy within the clinic as it made my experience less stressful.

IVF Prep (Medications, Ultrasounds, Blood Work)

The medications were easy for me to administer.  I didn’t mind the needles and the pharmacy walked me through any apprehensions I had. 

The clinic opens at 8:00 for your daily (sometimes every second day) ultrasound and blood work.  They tell you that appointments are on a first come first serve basis.  They tell you if you want the first appointment, show up early!  I have no idea why they do this, it is not like they don’t know who is coming in that day.  I think it would be better if they just scheduled an appointment time for everyone.  Instead you have a group of women showing up at 7:00 – 7:30 glaring at one another making sure no one buds in line.  I found this to be a stressful way to start my day.

The morning nurses were some of the most cheerful people we saw there.  Once your blood was done you went in for the ultrasound portion.  During this time we were surprised to not see our doctor once.  We learnt that over the course of your treatments you will be seen by different doctor’s everyday, I didn't like this.  I never felt confident that my care was individualized and the decisions that were being made had my case history in mind.  You were not given any time with the doctor to ask questions.  Instead you were referred to the nurse who would answer questions, handle any dose changes and make sure your treatment was progressing.

My number one question was “how are we doing”.  We were always given what seemed to be  a brush off answer, everything looks good and the doctor thinks its fine.  Since we weren’t talking to a doctor I felt we were never given a real answer as to how the treatment was going and the challenges and successes they were facing with my cycle.  I feel this clinic fails to really educate there patients about where there patients are in a cycle.  As a patient I want to know the all the medical details with explanations.  I want to understand the process and that my money is buying me some personalized attention and the best advice out there.  Unfortunately as a result I never totally felt comfortable and confidante with my treatment.

Egg Retrieval

The nurses were cheery during my egg retrieval.  They quickly went through some paperwork and got an IV started.  The made sure to keep me engaged and talked to me which helped me worry less about the procedure that was about to take place.  They gave me some gravol to help with nausea which I appreciated.  It would be terrible to start throwing up in the middle of something like this.

They gave me the anesthesia and the doctor began her work.  They talked to me throughout the procedure.  I watched the eggs appear on the screen after they were retrieved.  I liked that in the treatment room you can see some of what they are doing.  The nurse and doctor were supportive and got me through the retrieval.  It wasn’t very painful and it was over before I knew it.

I waited in the recovery area for about an hour.  There again the nurses were super friendly, helpful and knowledgeable.  The doctor came in after to check on me and give me a final report on what was retrieved. 

The only thing I felt they could have done a better job at is describing the discomfort and pain over the next few days.  The nurse told me most women are feeling normal after a day or so.  It took almost a week to feel normal again.  I seriously thought something was wrong, thank god for the internet as I found out this was actually pretty normal.

Fertilization Reports

For us this was a super emotional roller coaster ride.  You wait with baited breathe every day to see how those little fellers are doing.  The embryologists were always super punctual and called in the morning before 9.  It was nice not having to wonder all day long what was happening and if they were still progressing.

Transfer Day

The transfer was very similar to the egg retrieval except without all the work!  The nurses were friendly and caring.  They double checked they had the right person on the table and the embryos they are transferring are yours, they place the embryos in the catheter and away they go.  It literally takes 2 minutes.  All that prep work for 2 minutes…crazy!

The embryologist gives you a picture of what he transferred and let’s you know how the embryos looked.  In our case the embryologist said in both cases that we had great looking embryos.  I was disappointed that they never graded them or spoke about the structure in scientific terms.  In the United States and some Canadian clinics grade the embryos based on many factors.  If our embryos did have a grade we were never given more than the assurance that these could do the trick.  At the time it was easy to trust that sentiment.  I have wondered more about the quality now that both of our treatments failed.  I have no quantifiable information on the quality of our embryos.

The 2 Week Wait and Pregnancy Testing

Within this topic I have experienced the MOST frustration with the clinic.  The two week wait is nothing special, restricted duties and pee on a stick at your doctor’s office two weeks after transfer.  This should be the easiest part!

Both “confirmed” tests from a doctor took over 5 days for them to get a hold of and process. Which means both times I was hormones for an extra 5 days until it could be confirmed with my doctor.  They do not accept home pregnancy test results.  It must be done by a doctor.  This clinic does not require a beta blood test.  The only test the said I needed was a pee stick test at the doctor’s office.  I also question this practice as some women don’t even get a positive result on a pee stick.  I think that a beta blood test is a far more accurate way of confirming pregnancy.

This situation is made problematic because I am not a resident of Calgary.  If I was, I would go into the clinic and they could give me same day results.  However they make no effort in making it easier for out of town patients.  The clinic here said they faxed the result to them three times.  The fertility clinic said they did not receive any of them.  Instead of the fertility clinic just calling and asking (they would have the power to get the results over the phone) they said it was my problem and until I got it to them I would have to stay on all my medications.  As a result I sat trying to figure out why they weren’t getting them.  It took a lot of back and forth phone calls and again waiting for someone at the clinic to call me back.

After the 5 day wait they FINALLY got the fax.  The lady over the phone was empathetic but by this point I was frustrated and was annoyed by the sentiment.  I knew I wasn’t pregnant 5 days ago and she should have known this considering I communicated to them that I had been testing at home and had not received a positive result.


Thanks for reading my review.  I hope this provides some information that is helpful to you.
siggy


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

~Love Will Take You There~


Currently I am 10dp5dfet (10 days past a 5 day frozen embryo transfer) and I have a confession to make…I have been testing since day 5! There are so many varying opinions about this practice however I am a firm believer in early testing. It gives me the time if needed to grieve slowly as opposed to this build up of excitement to only be let down. The sad part of this story, every test has been negative thus far. It still could be positive but the chances of it being negative go up a little more every day. I have my beta scheduled for Thursday and after that I will know for sure what this outcome will be.

I am actually doing fine, better than I have done in the past. I am sad that this cycle could end up being a bust but I have come to peace with the fact that I can’t control this, not even a little bit. I need to stay strong and carry on. I need to keep searching and looking for answers and eventually someway, somehow we will find the child we have been desperately seeking.

During this cycle a song caught my attention, the lyrics are simple but spoke to me in a very powerful way.

If we never found this love
If we never took that road
If we hadn't had the heart
We wouldn't have this home

Love, love will take you Love, love will take you there Love, love will take you Love, love will take you there
 

Love is one of the most profound feelings and emotions we as people get to experience. Where there are people you can guarantee you will find love. A few things I have found to be true about love…

• Love can be shown in many ways
• Giving and receiving of love is unique to everyone
• Love is a strong motivator
• Everyone longs to be loved by someone
• Love is one of the greatest gifts you could ever receive
• Love cannot be purchased or earned

My love for the children we don’t know yet will propel us to never lose sight and hope of our dream. The love the dude and I share will only be strengthened by this journey, not because it isn’t challenging but because we are committed to one another and will stop at nothing to make this dream a reality.

Before I met the dude I wondered if I ever would experience that type of love. I wanted it and guess what, I eventually found it. Tonight I sit here in the same predicament asking myself, “will I ever experience the love a parent feels for their child?”

The only assurance I have is that love will allow us to do things we never thought possible. It will strengthen us when we are weak. Provide a sense of direction when we feel lost and give us a continual hope for a better tomorrow. Love is ALWAYS there.

I really believe that our love will EVENTUALLY take us to what we desire most, which is to be parents.

Love to you…

siggy

Thursday, March 29, 2012

~Master of the Wand~

Today I will go and meet an old friend...
You would think that after so many visits this process would get less awkward…nope!

As awkward as it may be at least the doctor isn’t dropping this bomb….

 Ouch, the truth hurts!

Love to you…


siggy

Monday, March 26, 2012

~Where It's At~


Holy Moly, I just went online and realized how bad my blog neglect has been…83 days to be exact! I have been perusing your blogs and for many of you so much has changed! It is great to see so many people who have struggled with infertility finally get the chance to be parents!

I am my pretty much my same old self, maybe a smidgen more positive about the infertility piece. Lately people have been asking why I am more positive now than I was before. The only answer I can drum up is acceptance. It is not that I am less sad, angry or disappointed about our situation I have just come to accept that this is our life. For us, having children (if we have any) will be a hard, long and grueling process. Everyday I will wage a war with “infertility”. The biggest factor in determining who the winner will be is simple…who will give up first!

Most days I feel on top of everything and in general optimistic, other days I cannot help but fall to the victim mentality of “poor little old me”! I sometimes feel enslaved to the idea that my life will never be truly complete without having our own children. I find these emotions are strongest when looking at Facebook. All the photos and family moments makes my heart melt and think of what I don’t have and what I currently want more than anything.

I am currently preparing to go in for our frozen embryo transfer. I have my ultrasound on Thursday and the actual transfer should happen around the first week of April. This idea excites me and brings new hope and possibilities to the fore front.

The preparation for the frozen embryo transfer is a lot less work as far as scheduling goes. However I have found that at times the prep work for this transfer has turned me into something I would not normally describe myself as…bat shit crazy! I have had way more symptoms than I ever did with the full on fertility meds. I am looking forward to the transfer and I am also equally looking forward to not feeling like a hormonal mess everyday (well of course I would more than welcome a pregnant hormonal mess)

That’s where it’s at tonight. Looking forward to catching up with you very soon!

Love to you…


siggy

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

~Living In The Void~

Long time no chat internet peeps! How was your Christmas and New Years?!

It seems that for me that last two months have been a whirlwind of activity and change. The busier I kept myself the less time I had to actually think about where I am verses where I want to be. The flip side of that is you always have to meet up again with the one thing you are trying to evade.

I read the blogs of the people who did IVF around the same time as us and for the people it worked for I cannot help but think of myself in there shoes, we could be at the exact same place right now. The reality though is that we aren’t. The reality for us is that we have to try again.

I sometimes sit and wonder if I will ever be the same. Even if we have kids I wonder if this hurt and anger I feel daily will one day lift from my soul. I have really started to see my life split into two groups, one being before infertility and the other being after. I look at pictures of myself and when I look at myself I can see a happier more hopeful Beckie.

I suppose that would only make sense because at that time I thought my life was just about to begin. I was married; young and everything was supposed to keep getting better and better. Instead a big hole I couldn’t fill began to grow.

I really struggle with seeing babies and pregnant people. My mind instantly goes to a negative place of anger. It has nothing to do with them but everything to do with me and how I am feeling about my own situation. The pregnancy pictures and the talk about babies and children literally make my heart race with anxiety and hurt. It is getting harder and harder for me to be ok with these situations.

Some days are better and some are worse.

I am trying to be hopeful. I am trying to be content.

The harder I try the worse I feel. I don’t know how to make this right. I don’t know how I am going to be ok if this hole in my life is never filled.

I wonder if I had a crystal ball and I knew whether or not we would have kids. I wonder how that would change this conversation or if I would still be as anxious as I am now. I don’t want to waste my life searching for something that may never be.

Bottom line, infertility sucks! It's really hard and a complete game changer.

I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to be fertile. That is one thing I just don’t get!

Love to you…


siggy